the own it podcast

42. Our Deep Need for Belonging

This episode was sparked by a question I received on Instagram: Can you talk about the need for belonging, how our experiences growing up affect it, and how we can repair it in adulthood?

Belonging is foundational to who we are, yet so many of us struggle with it without fully understanding why. In this episode, I explore:

• Childhood & the Foundations of Belonging

How our early relationships shape our sense of belonging, the difference between authenticity and attachment, and what happens when that foundation is fractured.

• How These Patterns Show Up in Adulthood

Struggles with fitting in vs. authentic belonging, fear of rejection, self-sabotage, and the coping mechanisms we develop—like people-pleasing or isolation.

• Repairing & Rebuilding Belonging

Recognizing old narratives, healing from past wounds, and cultivating true belonging by embracing authenticity, building safe relationships, and re-parenting ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t truly belong, this episode will help you understand why—and how to start healing.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

 

41. How to Process Without Getting Stuck

Processing isn’t about “getting over it” or finding instant solutions—it’s about fully experiencing, understanding, and integrating emotions so they don’t control us. In this episode, I break down what it really means to process, why it matters, and how to do it effectively.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

• Why Processing Matters – Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they get stored in our bodies and show up as stress, tension, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Processing brings clarity, helping us separate past wounds from present reality so we can respond instead of react.
• The Role of the Nervous System – Our emotions get stored in our bodies, and if we don’t process them, they stay stuck, leading to anxiety, stress, or shutdown. Processing helps regulate our nervous system by allowing emotions to complete their cycle.

4 Steps to Processing Emotions

1. Awareness – Recognize what you’re feeling without judgment. Ask: What am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body?
2. Allow – Be present with your emotions instead of suppressing them. Use movement, deep breathing, journaling, or creative outlets to release them.
3. Attune – Tune into yourself and ask: What do I need right now? Respond to yourself like you would to a child having big emotions.
4. Act – Once you’re regulated, decide your next step. Ask: What can I learn from this? What do I need to feel safe?

The goal isn’t to fix emotions but to let them move through you so they don’t control you. Give yourself grace—some emotions take longer to work through than others, but with practice, processing becomes a natural part of living freely.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

40. Thriving in Motherhood Without Losing Yourself

Today, we’re diving into a topic so many of us wrestle with—how to thrive in motherhood without losing ourselves. Motherhood is all-consuming, and I totally get why people say they’ve “lost themselves” in it. But what if it’s not about losing or winning, but about integrating? In this episode, I’m sharing my journey—from an ambitious dreamer and doer to a mom navigating multiple callings—while staying true to who God created me to be. Let’s talk about self-connection, releasing mom guilt, and creating space for the dreams God placed inside of you.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

• Motherhood is all-consuming, but you don’t have to lose yourself. It’s not about choosing between roles—it’s about integrating them.
• God’s plan is always greater. I never dreamed of being a mom, but saying yes to His calling has brought more fulfillment than I ever imagined. (Matthew 10:39)
• Stay connected to yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
• Small steps matter. You don’t have to go all-in on your passions overnight. Start where you are and give yourself permission to grow.
• Let go of mom guilt & unrealistic expectations. The pressure to “do it all” is endless, but true peace comes from saying yes to what God is calling you to.
• Your identity isn’t disappearing—it’s evolving. Motherhood doesn’t replace who you are; it adds to it. Embrace every season and trust God’s provision.

Motherhood doesn’t have to mean losing yourself—it’s an opportunity to expand, evolve, and become even more of who you’re meant to be. God is big enough to sustain you in every calling He’s given you. So if you’re feeling torn, exhausted, or like you’re disappearing in motherhood—take a breath. You are not failing. You are growing. Keep showing up, trusting His provision, and giving yourself grace in the process. Thanks for tuning in! If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend and tag me—I’d love to hear your thoughts. Until next time, own your journey and live fully alive!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

39. Why I Don't Get Triggered When I Solo-Parent Anymore

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a powerful shift I experienced in my journey as a stay-at-home mom and solo parent. For years, I carried a lot of resentment and anger when my husband traveled for work. I’d punish him when he was gone, punish myself by not accepting help, and even punish him when he returned with emotional disconnection. It was a toxic cycle filled with guilt, shame, and frustration.

But everything changed when I took ownership of my life and my season as a mom. Last year, I realized the key to breaking the cycle wasn’t about fixing my husband’s travel schedule or blaming external circumstances—it was about owning where I was in my life. I had to face the fact that shame and pride were blocking me from fully embracing my role. When I stopped hiding behind those emotions, I was able to create a more peaceful, intentional way of handling solo parenting.

In this episode, I walk you through how taking full responsibility for my season made all the difference. I stopped letting shame dictate my behavior and pride stop me from asking for help. I share the practical steps I took—like planning ahead, getting support, and allowing myself to enjoy the moments, instead of letting bitterness rule.

If you’re struggling with guilt, shame, or resentment in your parenting journey, this episode is for you. It’s time to own your space, release the emotional weight, and create a life that feels empowering, not limiting.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

38. TRAUMA: What is it + How do I know if I have it?

In today’s episode, I want to dive into a topic that’s become a big part of the self-help and mental health world—trauma. There’s a lot of information out there, but let me start by saying that this is just a small lens into the trauma space. It’s not the full picture, but I hope it offers you clarity and encouragement. As a certified trauma practitioner, I’ve encountered so many women who’ve come to me carrying “trauma.” Trauma changes us—our brains, bodies, emotions, and even choices. But it’s important to understand what trauma is—and isn’t.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

• Defining trauma: What it is and what it’s not.
• The cultural misuse of trauma language and its impact.
• How trauma affects the brain, body, and emotions.
• The difference between sensory and narrative memories and their role in trauma.
• Understanding symptoms of trauma: hypervigilance, emotional dysregulation, and self-protective behaviors.
• Why trauma is more about the brain’s encoding of an event than the event itself.
• How connection and processing in real-time can mitigate trauma.
• The role of integration and desensitization in healing trauma memories.

If you’ve experienced trauma, I see you and there is hope and healing for you. You are not alone and I pray that God will supply all of your needs according to His glorious riches – every body, soul, and spirit need that you have!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

If you’re interested in joining Thrive, the doors CLOSE TODAY (Friday, February 7) so you can join by heading to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive. Use the code THRIVETODAY and get your first month completely free!

BONUS: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns + How to STOP

Ever feel like you’re stuck in survival mode, reacting instead of responding, repeating the same frustrating patterns? You want to be patient with your husband, kids, or friends—but then, boom, you’re triggered, and it’s over. Pain blocks our access to the life we were created for—the love, joy, peace, and freedom that are rightfully ours.

This semester, inside Thrive, we’re diving deep into inner healing—not just talking about it but actually doing the work to heal emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds. We’re breaking unhealthy cycles, healing past pain, building secure attachment, and learning how to live fully in our bodies again. Because the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but we are reclaiming what belongs to us.

In this episode, we unpack:

✨ What inner healing is (and why it matters)

✨ What we’re actually healing from—childhood wounds, trauma, limiting beliefs, and relational pain

✨ How unhealed wounds show up in our lives—from anxiety and perfectionism to trust issues and spiritual disconnect

✨ The pathway forward—because healing isn’t just possible, it’s what we were made for

If you’re tired of just getting by and ready to truly thrive, this one’s for you. Let’s do the work together.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

If you’re interested in joining Thrive, the doors are OPEN so you can join by heading to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive. Use the code THRIVETODAY and get your first month completely free!

37. The 5 Soul Wounds Keeping You Stuck (and How to Heal Them!)

In this episode, I take a deep dive into the core wounds of the soul and how they impact our everyday lives. The soul—our mind, will, and emotions—is deeply influenced by our past experiences, shaping how we think, feel, and act. When these experiences leave us with unresolved pain, they create soul wounds that can keep us stuck, repeating patterns we don’t understand.

But here’s the good news: soul wounds can be healed! Healing these wounds restores wholeness and helps us show up as our authentic selves. It’s not about slapping on a bandaid—it’s about doing the deeper work to release pain, break cycles, and find freedom.

We cover the 5 core soul wounds—Safety, Trust, Belonging, Worthiness, and Availability—and how they show up in our thoughts, emotions, and actions. And most importantly, I share five practical steps to heal these wounds so you can live from a place of wholeness, not pain.

This episode will leave you feeling encouraged, empowered, and ready to take the next step in your healing journey!

5 Steps to Heal a Soul Wound

1. Identify and name the wound. Awareness is the first step to freedom.
2. Sit with the wound. Reflect on how it’s shaped your life and where the pain still shows up.
3. Grieve the loss. Allow yourself to feel the unmet needs and let go of what was.
4. Invite God to heal. Forgive, release, and ask for divine restoration.
5. Create new experiences. Begin building healthy connections and habits that reinforce healing.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

THRIVE DOORS ARE OPEN!! If you’re interested in joining Thrive, head to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive. Use the code THRIVETODAY and get your first month completely free!

36. Grieving in Transition w/Colby Ellis

In this inspiring episode, we sit down with Colby Ellis, a wife, mom of two, and corporate professional working from home. Colby shares her deeply personal journey of navigating a massive life transition: moving across the country with her family. In a candid conversation, she opens up about how she managed the emotional challenges of such a significant change, how she allowed herself to grieve, and the importance of showing up for her family, even when it felt overwhelming. Colby also discusses the role that the Thrive program played in her season of transition, offering insights into how she learned to give herself grace, balance self-care, and build the practical tools to thrive amid uncertainty.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

• Colby shares her journey of moving across the country with her family while balancing her corporate job, marriage, and two children.
• She opens up about the importance of allowing yourself to grieve during major life changes, but also how to lean into the Lord who gives grave in every season to show up to your life.
• Colby discusses how Thrive helped her develop practical tools for coping with change and how the community of women were a Godsend in a hard season of instability.
• She emphasizes learning to give herself grace, especially in moments of overwhelm, and the importance of showing up for her family while taking care of her own emotional well-being.
• We talk about how to trust the Lord in seasons of change and transition, even when things don't go the way you think they will. 

This episode offers an incredibly relatable and insightful conversation for anyone going through a season of transition. Whether you're moving, changing jobs, or navigating a new chapter in life, Colby’s story shows that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to not have everything figured out, and it’s possible to THRIVE!

HOW TO CONECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

If you’re interested in joining Thrive, the doors are OPEN so you can join by heading to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive. Use the code THRIVETODAY and get your first month completely free!

35. From Rock Bottom to Thriving: a Journey of Transformation w/Sneha Joseph

In today’s episode, we hear from a current Thrive member, Sneha, who shares her powerful personal story of moving from survival mode to thriving in her life. In 2020, Sneha's world completely fell apart. She found herself in a place where she could hardly function, overwhelmed by stress and uncertainty and every single day was a battle just to get through. One of Sneha’s turning points came when she joined Thrive Collective. This community of like-minded-like-hearted women gave her the tools, resources, and support she needed to rebuild her life after trauma.

 

This is a powerful episode full of spiritual and practical application. Sneha's story is inspiring and encouraging, full of hope and transformation. You won't want to miss listening to this one!

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

If you’re interested in joining Thrive, the doors are OPEN so you can join by heading to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive. Use the code THRIVETODAY and get your first month completely free!

34. A Window Into My Heart: How to Grieve an Old Season

This week, I’m sharing a personal, process-oriented episode instead of my typical teaching-based episodes. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this is an essential part of living an abundant life: grieving and letting go of old seasons

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

Life in God is full of seasons, and each season shapes who we are becoming. But with new seasons come new assignments and the vulnerability of stepping into the unknown.Sometimes we resist letting go of an old season because it’s familiar and comfortable. Other times, we’re so eager to move forward that we forget to grieve what we’re leaving behind. Either way, it’s critical to grieve well so we can fully embrace what’s ahead.

In this episode, I share chunks of my story and how I’ve learned how to move through different seasons in God to where I’m constantly moving from glory to glory and towards what He’s called me to do. 

I dive into several key ways to transition from one season into the next:

1. Honor the Past: Grieving a past season honors its significance. Let yourself process deeply, talk with trusted people, and seek counseling if needed.
2. Set Memorial Stones: Create ways to remember God’s faithfulness in past seasons. I keep memory boxes for my kids, holding keepsakes that remind me of how God showed up for us.
3. Let Go of What No Longer Serves You: Old mindsets—fear, insecurity, or people-pleasing—can’t go with you into a new season. Identify and release these with God’s help.
4. Get Vision for What’s Ahead: Vision gives purpose and direction. Without it, we live aimlessly. Take time to seek God for clarity about where He’s leading you.

Transitioning into a new season is hard because it requires leaving behind what’s familiar and trusting God with what’s next. There’s tension between the old and the new, but we can choose to trust His leadership and say yes to the process.

When you step into a new season, you may feel unqualified or unsure. But God doesn’t call us based on who we were—He calls us based on who we’re becoming.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.