the own it podcast

In this episode, I’m breaking down the blocks that keep us from fully loving ourselves and sharing practical tips to move from intention to action. We’ll explore fear, shame, trauma, and how to replace those walls with God’s truth. Plus, you’ll learn how your words and thoughts shape your reality and how to align with the person God made you to be.

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EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

Barriers to Self-Love:

1. Fear of Rejection or Failure

• Past experiences shape our view of ourselves. God’s voice needs to reshape our identity.
• Fear, guilt, shame, and pride block the truth from getting in.

2. Unprocessed Pain or Trauma

• James 5:16: Confessing sins and bringing pain into the light leads to healing.

3. Comparison Trap

• Comparison creates victims and villains, distorting our self-worth.

4. Negative Self-Talk

• Words shape reality. Speak life over yourself!
• Masaru Emoto’s experiments: Positive words create beauty; negative ones create chaos.

5. Codependency

• Relying on others for validation prevents true self-love.

6. Neglecting Your Body

• 1 Corinthians 6:19: Treat your body as a temple. Self-care reflects self-love.

 

Practical Tips for Loving Yourself

1. Be humble and recognize where you’ve blocked love.
2. Seek counseling to heal wounds from the past.
3. Silence the inner critic (2 Corinthians 10:5).
4. Discover who you are outside of performance or appearances.
5. Surround yourself with healthy, affirming relationships.
6. Speak truth into existence: Call yourself what you aspire to believe.
7. Declare Scripture and affirmations daily (Psalm 139:13-17).

This episode is about breaking down walls, taking captive negative thoughts, and stepping into the fullness of who God created you to be. You got this beauty!

This episode came from a DM asking for a podcast on self-love. I’m diving into self-love from a biblical and psychological perspective, not the usual “woo woo self-help” angle. This will be a two-part series so stay tuned for the next one and I hope you feel inspired and encouraged!

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Love as the Basis: 1 John 4:19 reminds us that we can love because He first loved us. God’s love is the foundation.
2. Understanding “Self”: Our identity is rooted in being created in His image (Genesis 1:27). Knowing this helps us understand who we are and builds a healthy self-concept.
3. Self-Concept & Belief: We see ourselves through the “glasses” of our life experiences, shaping beliefs like “I am worthy” or “I’m not enough.” Childhood experiences often influence these beliefs.
4. Self-Love Definition: Self-love means accepting and valuing ourselves. It’s not always easy if we don’t feel connected to who we truly are.
5. Impact of Attachment: Early relationships shape our self-worth. For example, anxious or avoidant attachment styles affect how we view ourselves and our ability to feel loveable.
6. Inner Critic: Many of us develop a critical voice that undermines our worth. Recognizing this and countering it with God’s truth is essential for true self-love.

Self-love isn’t just about feeling good but about living in alignment with how God created us and stepping into our true identity.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

In this episode, I share how to move through a hard season well. Hard seasons are inevitable – the Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. This means that we’re going to face tough seasons and walk through hard situations, but it’s possible not to be depressed and powerless in it all. I want to give you practical and actionable tools and steps to engage in a hard season while still showing up in it. 

 

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Discern Your Season: Recognize the season you’re in—like the sons of Issachar, who understood their times (1 Chronicles 12:32).
2. Create a Vision: With no vision, we lose direction. Set goals—emotionally, physically, spiritually—like building trust or improving health.
3. Identify Root Causes: Is your struggle circumstantial or tied to past actions? Accept the consequences but also turn away from cycles of sin and create healthy habits in your life.
4. Reject Victimhood: Name and feel your emotions, but don’t let them control you. Focus on what you can change, and release what you can’t.
5. Practice Self-Control: Avoid unhealthy escapes. We’re called to be Spirit-led, not driven by fleeting desires.
6. Grow Through Challenges: Let trials mature you. James 1:2-4 reminds us that enduring hardships produces resilience and inner peace.
7. Build Healthy Routines: Establish routines that ground you, like exercise, checklists, and self-care—these basics can prevent burnout.
8. Manage Threat Responses: Recognize your stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, shutdown). Know your triggers and plan for them.
9. Set Small Goals: Build momentum with attainable steps, creating small wins that foster confidence.
10. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge every moment you show up, no matter how small—it all adds up.
11. Find Purpose in Every Day: Stay grounded in the present. Use your senses, appreciate nature, and lean into each moment.
12. Lean on Your Community: Don’t be afraid to rely on others for perspective and support.
13. Stay Present, Don’t Check Out: There’s a difference between disconnecting and actively showing up. Practice presence.
14. Run Back to Hope: Hold onto hope—the joyful expectation of good.
    
    

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

In this episode, I share a practical, powerful, and spirit-filled Q&A session from Thrive with my friend and special guest, Jenn Johnson. Jenn is a wife, mom of five, worship leader, artist, and CEO of a thriving music label. Known for her passion for beauty, community, and holistic nurturing, Jenn is intentional in every part of her life, from her high-capacity leadership to building a home that welcomes people from around the world.

 

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

- Living with Intention: Jenn shares how living on purpose has shaped her life, ministry, and vision, even in wilderness seasons.

- Staying Grounded: Practical daily habits and routines Jenn relies on to stay purposeful while juggling many roles.

- Navigating Busy Seasons: Tips on prioritizing what matters most without losing focus or burning out.

- Self-Care and Giving Back: Insights into meeting personal needs to remain strong for family and community.

- Handling Setbacks: How Jenn navigates disappointment and challenging seasons without getting stuck.

- Inviting God into Our Dreams: How to let faith guide us in pursuing God-given passions.

- Facing Life Transitions: How to keep loving God and others even when life gets turned upside down.

- Emotional Connection in Marriage: Tips for staying emotionally engaged in marriage amidst life's demands.

- How We Thrive: Jenn’s lasting words of wisdom on living a purposeful life.

Join us for this inspiring and practical episode, as Jenn gives us a glimpse into her life and the intentional practices that keep her thriving.

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I dive deep into the difference between a victim mentality and a powerful mindset. I'll be sharing personal stories from my own where I felt powerless and was waiting for someone to rescue me and how I shifted to taking ownership of my life. We’ll explore the root causes of a victim mentality, how it distorts reality, and the long-term negative impact it can have. I'll also give practical steps on how you can take your power back, become solution-oriented, and shift your mindset to live with intention and responsibility.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Understanding Victim Mentality: A way of thinking where we feel powerless and blame others. It leads to stagnation, self-sabotage, and frustration.

- Signs of Victim Mentality: Negative self-talk, avoidance of responsibility, and feeling like life happens TO you.

- Root Causes: Past trauma, learned helplessness, and unmet emotional needs can drive this mindset.

- Shifting to a Powerful Mindset: Take back control by embracing personal responsibility, making intentional choices, and taking back your power from people and circumstances.

- Practical Steps: Recognize triggers, take responsibility, set boundaries, and practice gratitude to move from victimhood to empowerment.

- Biblical Perspective: Scriptures like 2 Timothy 1:7 and Romans 8:37 remind us that we are called to live in power, love, and self-control, not fear.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

 

In this episode, I talk about the concept of reparenting—how we can give ourselves the care and nurturing we may have missed in childhood. I explore how unmet childhood needs shape our behaviors, emotions, and self-perception as adults, and how reparenting helps us heal those wounds. I also look at what the Bible says about healing from our past, encouraging us to become who God has called us to be.

HIGHLIGHTS:

1. What is Reparenting?

   - Reparenting is about giving yourself what you lacked in childhood, healing unmet needs that affect your life today.  

   - Scriptures: Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 68:5, Isaiah 64:8.

2. Why Reparenting Matters

   - It helps break harmful patterns like self-sabotage and people-pleasing. Healing these areas leads to emotional maturity and healthy relationships.

3. 12 Key Areas to Reparent:  

   - Emotional Regulation: Learning to manage and soothe emotions.  

   - Self-Worth: Cultivating confidence and self-love.  

   - Boundaries: Setting limits without guilt.  

   - Self-Compassion: Being kind to yourself.  

   - Coping with Stress: Developing healthier coping mechanisms.  

   - Codependency: Balancing independence and connection.  

   - Self-Care: Prioritizing your well-being without guilt.  

   - Dealing with Failure: Embracing mistakes as learning opportunities.  

   - Trust and Safety: Rebuilding trust in yourself and others.  

   - Attachment: Forming secure, healthy relationships.  

   - Perfectionism and People-Pleasing: Letting go of the need for approval.  

   - Play and Creativity: Rediscovering fun and creativity without guilt.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

In this episode of The Own It Podcast, I explore what it looks like to be in a wilderness season. These seasons are marked by feelings of isolation, uncertainty, and transition. Often, things that used to work no longer do, and external progress seems to stall. However, the wilderness is also a season of preparation where God equips, refines, and reminds us of His presence and purpose in our lives. This episode highlights how to embrace and steward these wilderness seasons well, trusting in God's timing and process.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

- Signs of a Wilderness Season: Feelings of loneliness, uncertainty, triggers resurfacing, life being quiet, and external opportunities not aligning.
- Purpose of the Wilderness: 
   - Equip: Building maturity for the next stage of life.
   - Refine: Exposing areas like bitterness or insecurity that God wants to work on.
   - Remind: Reestablishing God as the first priority.
- How to Steward the Wilderness: 
   - Every season has an end, just like winter turns to spring.
   - Embrace the season and don't rush through it.
   - Find your mission in the season and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content onhow to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode of The Own It Podcast, I'm giving you another window into my heart as I talk about what it means to be consecrated to God and what it looks like to live a life that is set apart for Him. I share some vulnerable thoughts and a window into my current journey as I lay down some comforts and coping mechanisms because I feel God calling me higher and deeper and I am hungry to respond to His leading. As always, I hope you feel challenged and encouraged as we walk on this journey of life, more free, more whole, looking more and more like Jesus.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, we're unpacking the essentials of boundaries and why they matter. I'm no stranger to the fact that everyone and their mom has a podcast about boundaries, but I'm answering a question I received on Instagram about how to set up appropriate boundaries with people who have broken trust with us. 

HIGHLIGHTS:

What Are Boundaries?  
- Boundaries protect what’s important to you. They define what’s okay and what’s not okay in relationships (e.g., not sharing everything with everyone, limiting topics with your boss, or creating space with family members who’ve hurt you).

Wisdom in Boundaries  
- Sometimes, boundaries might hurt or offend others, but remember: you’re accountable to God for your life, not them. You’ve been given the responsibility to manage your relationships and well-being.

Common Misconceptions:
- Boundaries are selfish? Nope.  
- Boundaries build walls? Not true.  
- Boundaries stop intimacy? Actually, they create it.

In this episode, I share some of my own personal boundaries and unpack why and how I set them! Setting boundaries is all about clarity, safety, and creating space for love and connection in your life. Let’s get intentional with our limits and protect what matters most!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Hi friends! This episode is in response to a question I received on Instagram and it’s all about the art of holding space—creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where others feel truly heard and understood. It’s not about being the hero, but about being present for someone else.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- The Art of Listening: We’ll explore how to listen fully without trying to fix or judge. Empathy and silence are key tools, and I’ll share ways to validate and ask clarifying questions.

- Managing Your Own Emotions: Learn how to stay grounded while holding space, set boundaries, and debrief afterward.

- Holding Space Without Judgment: We discuss how to avoid bias, and the difference between empathy (connection) and sympathy (distance).

- Compassion vs. Codependency: We explore the fine line between supporting someone and taking on their emotional burden.

- Holding Space for Yourself: Don’t forget to care for your own emotional health after holding space for someone else.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. If you’re interested in joining Thrive, join the doors are OPEN so you can join by heading to www.comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive