the own it podcast

8. How To Change Your Attachment Style

​​In this episode, I tackle a question I received from someone on Instagram regarding attachment styles. She asked, “Do you talk about how to do [attachment] differently cause I could sure use that?” With that, let’s explore how to change your attachment style, especially when dealing with avoidant and anxious dynamics.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Attachment Styles Aren’t Fixed – your attachment style can change with effort and intention.
• Self-Awareness – observe your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships to identify patterns and triggers.
• Identify Your Attachment Style – understand that attachment styles can vary depending on the context and relationship.
• Reflect on Your Past – examine how childhood experiences shaped your current attachment style. Your past can provide clues to your present behaviors.
• Assess Inner Working Models – review past experiences and consider how you would like to change your responses.
• Inventory Anxious/Avoidant Behaviors – keep track of these behaviors and analyze them from a working model perspective, considering thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Understand Triggers – identify what activates your attachment system and how you react. Reflect on what you miss out on by succumbing to these patterns.
• Narrate Your Attachment Patterns – practice articulating your attachment behaviors and their impacts.

 

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.

7. Dreams + Motherhood -- can they coexist?

In this episode, I have a real candid dialogue about the complex interplay between our dreams and motherhood. I openly talk about the realities of trying to balance it all and offer practical advice on how to manage the juggle. Whether you're struggling with time management, mom guilt, or finding your purpose, this episode provides insights and strategies to help you thrive.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Pursuing Dreams: "You can have everything you want, just not all at the same time."
- Time Management: The unique challenge of managing time as a mom.
- Managing Mom Guilt: Strategies for handling feelings of guilt.
- Stewarding Gifts: Embracing and nurturing the talents God has placed within us.
- Taking Action: Starting now and doing something.
- Know Your Season: Recognizing and respecting the current season of your life.

- Identifying your Values + Priorities

- Setting Boundaries

... and SO MUCH MORE!

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

6. Dismantling the Avoidant + Disorganized Attachment Styles

Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Overview of Attachment Theory - Learn why early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.

- Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.

- Understanding Avoidant Attachment: Find out what it means to have an avoidant attachment style and how someone with this style presents as aloof, independent, not not emotional, and self-reliant. 

- Navigating Disorganized Attachment: Explore the disorganized attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. The constant push-pull relationship is often shaped by trauma and abuse and it’s necessary to find someone to help us process this attachment style.

- Impact on Relationships – Attachment styles shape communication, conflict resolution, and emotional availability. Securely attached individuals enjoy more stable relationships, while insecure styles face more challenges.

- Changing Attachment Styles – Attachment styles can evolve with effort and new experiences. Learn how to increase self-awareness, develop trust, communicate effectively, set boundaries, and address past traumas.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.

5. Unpacking the Secure + Anxious Attachment Style

Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Demystifying Attachment Theory: I unpack the origins of attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, and its profound impact on how we connect with others. Learn why those early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.

- Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.

- Understanding Secure Attachment: Find out what it means to have a secure attachment style and how it forms the foundation for healthy, fulfilling relationships. Spoiler alert: It's all about trust, intimacy, and a positive sense of self and others.

- Navigating Anxious Attachment: Explore the anxious attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. From craving closeness to fearing abandonment, we'll uncover the ins and outs of this attachment style.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.

4. How to Build Lasting Friendships with Mari Helart

Today, I’m sharing an exclusive insider into my Thrive Collective. This is a workshop where I invited my best friend, Mari Helart into our Thrive community and we answered some juicy questions about friendship – the kinds of questions you don’t want to ask because it makes you feel like a bad person (WHICH YOU’RE NOT):

- how to navigate disconnection when things feel “off” but you’re not sure anything happened 

- how to address conflict if the other says nothing is wrong

- how to speak up about the hard things or tips on addressing conflict - instead of shutting down, staying quiet, or brushing it under the rug 

- how do you reach out to people you want to befriend without it feeling super awkward  

- when to draw the line between sharing things and putting too much onto the other person listening without them feeling annoyed.

We’re going after it this week! This episode is so good AND it also gives you a glimpse inside our Thrive community. The summer doors are OPEN and you can get your first month free using the code THRIVE TODAY. Head to comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content onhow to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

1. The Art of Showing Up

Hi friend! I'm Chantelle Nelson — wife, mom of 3, therapeutic life coach, and your host for the Own It Podcast. In our first episode, we're diving into "The Art of Showing Up."

HIGHLIGHTS

Who Am I?
  - I'm passionate about helping you thrive, not just survive. With a Master's in Counseling Psychology and 3 years of coaching over 150 women, I'm here to guide you and grow WITH you!

What Does It Mean to Show Up?
  - Life gives us two choices: show up or check out. I explore why showing up to your life is a game-changer.

Barriers to Showing Up:
  - We'll tackle common obstacles like unprocessed pain, overwhelming life demands, and the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Why It Matters:
  - Showing up connects you deeply with your life and the people in it. It brings peace, stability, connection, and creativity.

Get ready for some therapeutic wisdom and practical tips to help you own your life! Subscribe, rate, and review the podcast, and join the conversation using #OwnItPodcast. Let's get started!

WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content onhow to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

3. The Stress Cycle + Healthy Ways to Combat Stress

I don’t know about you, but I often feel consumed by stress in my current season. My life is non-stop and demands my attention in every area and sometimes it feels so overwhelming. Today, I want to break down a concept that changed my life and how I move through stressful moments and seasons and that is THE STRESS CYCLE. I’m tackling the stress cycle head-on and exploring healthy ways to combat stress. 

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Physical and Psychological Effects of Stress: Discover the immediate and long-term impacts of stress on our bodies and minds. From increased heart rate to mental health challenges, we'll unpack it all.

- Understanding the Stress Cycle: Get to know the ins and outs of the stress cycle, from perceiving stressors to completing the cycle and finding resolution.

- Key Points in Managing the Stress Cycle: Learn practical strategies for recognizing stressors, developing healthy coping mechanisms, promoting recovery, and addressing unresolved stress.

JOIN THRIVE COLLECTIVE

If you want to be a part of my community + heart education membership, head over to comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive and join a community of women who are showing up to their life. Use the code THRIVETODAY at checkout to get your first month FREE!

WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

2. The Nervous System + Understanding The Stress Response

Let’s dive into the fascinating world of our nervous systems and stress responses in this must-listen episode. I’m pulling back the curtain on one of my favorite things to talk about: our nervous systems and how they impact our everyday life. It’s time we learn and befriend the body and system God put us into!

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Explore the nervous system: Learn how it orchestrates everything from basic functions to complex emotions.

- Unveil the components: Discover the central nervous system (CNS) and peripheral nervous system (PNS) and their vital roles.

- Get savvy with stress: Understand acute vs. chronic stress and common triggers that keep us on our toes.

- Decipher the stress response: Delve into the 'fight or flight' reaction and the sympathetic nervous system's role in gearing us up for action.

Tune in for nerdy insights, relatable stories, and practical tips to befriend your body and thrive in life.

JOIN THRIVE COLLECTIVE

If you want to be a part of my community + heart education membership, head over to comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive and join a community of women who are showing up to their life. Use the code THRIVETODAY at checkout to get your first month FREE!

WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Follow me on social media @chantelleenelson and visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more info on how to work with me!

[Archive] Episode 14: Q + A with The Nelsons!

[Archive] Episode 14: Q + A with The Nelsons!

This is an episode from a podcast created by my husband, Donta, and I back in 2021 called Undoing The Complex. I loved the podcast and these episodes so much that I wanted to keep them up here for your listening pleasure!

 

In this episode, we're answering YOUR questions. We popped a question box on Instagram and had you send in your questions. We're answering your dating, marriage, and relationship questions. Everything from answering, "Did you ever breakup?" to "What's your most embarrassing moment with your spouse?"

Join us for lots of laughter and, as always, deep and honest conversation about complex things!

[Archive] Episode 13: A Real + Honest Look Into Marriage + Connection Pt. II

[Archive] Episode 13: A Real + Honest Look Into Marriage + Connection Pt. II

This is an episode from a podcast created by my husband, Donta, and I back in 2021 called Undoing The Complex. I loved the podcast and these episodes so much that I wanted to keep them up here for your listening pleasure!

 

Marriage. Counseling. Pain. Triggers. Healing. Parenting. This episode has allllll the good stuff. Join us for part two of the amazing talk we did at an arts academy for creatives. During this episode, we answer some incredible questions like, “What are the benefits of counseling?”, “Did you notice red flags before you started dating?”, “How did the 6-year age difference affect your relationship?”, “How do you bring God into your marriage?” and more!! We’re not trying to toot our own horns, but this episode is a really good one that you won’t want to miss!