the own it podcast

14. Build a Healthy Ecosystem in Your Life

In this episode, I reflect on Proverbs 4:23, emphasizing the importance of guarding our innermost being, as it influences every aspect of our lives—our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and actions. What’s happening inside of us will inevitably show up in how we live and walk out our lives.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Knowledge vs. Understanding: I explore the difference between knowledge—knowing God’s truths—and understanding—applying those truths in meaningful ways. Knowledge alone isn’t enough; we must also cultivate understanding to break free from destructive cycles and patterns.
  
- Breaking Strongholds: Many of us need to tear down strongholds and habits that keep us stuck. I discuss how Scripture guides us in recognizing and interrupting these patterns through intentional action.
  
- Healthy Ecosystems: I challenge you to think about your personal ecosystem—what does your “bubble of life” look like? Just like in nature, everything in our ecosystem is interconnected. I discuss how our body, soul, and spirit need to be nurtured to thrive.

- The Body: How are you caring for your physical health? Consider your diet, exercise, sleep, and the impact of stress or addictions on your well-being.

- The Soul: Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and choices. Are there unresolved pains or unhealthy cycles keeping you stuck? Inner healing, forgiveness, and emotional regulation are crucial for a healthy soul.

- The Spirit: Your spirit is your life force, and it needs to be strengthened by God. Are you staying connected to Him through prayer, Scripture, and worship?

Scriptures Referenced:
- Proverbs 4:23
- Matthew 13:5-6, 20-21
- 1 Corinthians 3:5-7
- 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
- 1 Corinthians 5:6

I want to encourage you to be mindful of who and what you allow into your life. Small, daily choices matter—don’t compromise. Let’s commit to creating and nurturing a healthy ecosystem where we can truly thrive in every area of our lives.

13. Ask Me Anything -- Thrive Collective Q+A

This is a pre-recorded Q+A from my private community, Thrive Collective. Thrive is my community and heart education membership exclusively designed for women who are living in survival mode and want to thrive in every season of their life.

I put out a thread in our private Facebook group that said "Ask me anything," and these are some of the questions I'm answering:

How do I create healthy attachments with my kids?

How do I not pass on unhealthy, generational things to my kids?

How do you feel about medication for depression/anxiety?

How do I move truth and belief from my head to my heart?

…and more!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

12. Thrive Retreat -- a peek inside!

I'm so excited to share all about our recent Thrive Retreat, which took place from August 1st to 3rd. This was our very first in-person retreat, and it was so incredible that I just want to give you a sneak peek into the weekend!

From the moment we gathered, we instantly connected hearts and we spent the weekend together, not just as participants, but as a family united in our pursuit of freedom and breakthrough. It was truly special to finally meet face-to-face after connecting online for so long.

Throughout the retreat, we dove deep into our inner healing journeys, supported each other through powerful speakers and sessions, and experienced significant personal breakthroughs. The connections we made were profound, as we shared our stories, our struggles, and our victories.

In this episode, I'll be sharing some of the highlights from the retreat, the incredible transformations we witnessed, and how this experience has reignited our passion for living freely and fully. Whether you were there with us or you're hearing about it for the first time, I hope this episode inspires you to seek your own moments of breakthrough and connection and perhaps, join our community and come to our next retreat!

So, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's dive into the magic of the Thrive Retreat!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. If you’re interested in joining Thrive, join the waitlist so you can stay in the know for when the doors open. DOORS OPEN SEPTEMBER 7!

11. Practical Tools + Steps for Healing Pt. III

In part III of my series on pain and how we heal from our past, I delve into practical tools and steps for healing emotional pain and cultivating a healthier life. I break down 8 different keys to healing our pain and provide practical and actionable steps for each.

 

HIGHLIGHTS

• Self-Awareness

We must first become aware of what is going on inside of us that isn’t producing the results we want in our lives.

• Telling the Truth

Self-awareness is meaningless if we aren’t willing to be honest about our past, present, and future.

• Acceptance

Accepting who we are in this moment, with all our shortcomings, is crucial for making powerful choices towards healing and growth.

• Becoming a Change Agent

We can drive change in my life by identifying areas for improvement and developing strategies to address them.

• Owning and Validating Past Experiences

By validating our past experiences, we heal and gain perspective, allowing us to let go of old beliefs and create new ones.

• Reclaiming Rejected Parts of Yourself

Part of healing is reclaiming the parts of ourselves that we rejected due to fear, integrating them back into who we are.

• Forgiving Yourself and Others

Forgiveness involves releasing the hold others have on us due to their actions, allowing us to move forward and heal.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this series on pain and healing! 

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

10. How do we Heal our Pain? Pt. II

In this episode, I explore what healing truly means and the sources of our pain. The goal is to achieve an abundant life as mentioned in John 10:10. Healing involves confronting and overcoming the pain from trials we face, as noted in John 16:33, and not letting it dictate our lives.

 

HIGHLIGHTS:

Effects of Unhealed Pain:

- Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.

- Beliefs: "I'm not good enough," "It'll always be this way," "It doesn't matter how hard I try."

- Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, disconnection.

 

How Do We Process Past Pain?:

- Triggers: Indicate unhealed pain and help point us to areas of our life where we don’t yet have freedom.

- Childhood Pain: Unresolved childhood experiences can manifest as trust issues, low self-esteem, and codependency. Healing requires processing wounds, setting boundaries, and creating values.

- Past Relationships: Toxic relationships impact self-worth and trust. Healing from these relationships involves reparenting and creating new experiences in relationships. 

- Negative Self-Perception: Internalized negative beliefs from childhood affect our adult decisions. We can heal through externalizing our experiences and cognitively restructuring our beliefs and narratives.

- Stress and Burnout: Chronic survival mode leads to burnout and we have to learn the symptoms of stress and burnout and align our actions with our values

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

9. What is Pain + How Do We Heal? Pt. I

Welcome to Part 1 of a series on inner healing. The goal of life in Christ is ABUNDANT LIFE — life and life abundantly (John 10:10). But life offers us pain and disappointment that can leave us feeling shame, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. In this multi-part episode, I want to unpack and demystify pain and inner healing in a tangible, practical, and applicable way. 

HIGHLIGHTS:

What Are We Being Healed From? 

Life’s Trials: In this life, you will have trials of many kinds (John 16:33). People aren’t perfect, and pain happens, often unnoticed.

Facing Pain: Healing means facing the things in our lives that have caused pain and refusing to let the effects of pain dictate our life’s course.

Effects of Unhealed Pain:

• Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.
• Beliefs: “I’m not good enough,” “It’ll always be this way,” “It doesn’t matter how hard I try.”
• Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, dissociating, and disconnection from people.

Benefits of Healing: When we heal, we can spend our energy showing up to our life instead of just surviving in it.

What Are We Healing From?

1. Childhood Pain:

• Causes: Neglect, abuse, bullying, rejection, loneliness, emotional abandonment.
• Impact: Childhood experiences shape adult behaviors.
• Signs: Trust issues, emotional dysregulation, low self-esteem, codependency, people-pleasing, self-sabotage.

Healing helps us move from merely surviving to truly living. Remember, the goal is ABUNDANT LIFE. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll dive deeper into more areas of our life where we can experience pain and practical and actionable healing practices and techniques.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

 

8. How To Change Your Attachment Style

​​In this episode, I tackle a question I received from someone on Instagram regarding attachment styles. She asked, “Do you talk about how to do [attachment] differently cause I could sure use that?” With that, let’s explore how to change your attachment style, especially when dealing with avoidant and anxious dynamics.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Attachment Styles Aren’t Fixed – your attachment style can change with effort and intention.
• Self-Awareness – observe your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships to identify patterns and triggers.
• Identify Your Attachment Style – understand that attachment styles can vary depending on the context and relationship.
• Reflect on Your Past – examine how childhood experiences shaped your current attachment style. Your past can provide clues to your present behaviors.
• Assess Inner Working Models – review past experiences and consider how you would like to change your responses.
• Inventory Anxious/Avoidant Behaviors – keep track of these behaviors and analyze them from a working model perspective, considering thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Understand Triggers – identify what activates your attachment system and how you react. Reflect on what you miss out on by succumbing to these patterns.
• Narrate Your Attachment Patterns – practice articulating your attachment behaviors and their impacts.

 

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.

7. Dreams + Motherhood -- can they coexist?

In this episode, I have a real candid dialogue about the complex interplay between our dreams and motherhood. I openly talk about the realities of trying to balance it all and offer practical advice on how to manage the juggle. Whether you're struggling with time management, mom guilt, or finding your purpose, this episode provides insights and strategies to help you thrive.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Pursuing Dreams: "You can have everything you want, just not all at the same time."
- Time Management: The unique challenge of managing time as a mom.
- Managing Mom Guilt: Strategies for handling feelings of guilt.
- Stewarding Gifts: Embracing and nurturing the talents God has placed within us.
- Taking Action: Starting now and doing something.
- Know Your Season: Recognizing and respecting the current season of your life.

- Identifying your Values + Priorities

- Setting Boundaries

... and SO MUCH MORE!

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

6. Dismantling the Avoidant + Disorganized Attachment Styles

Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Overview of Attachment Theory - Learn why early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.

- Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.

- Understanding Avoidant Attachment: Find out what it means to have an avoidant attachment style and how someone with this style presents as aloof, independent, not not emotional, and self-reliant. 

- Navigating Disorganized Attachment: Explore the disorganized attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. The constant push-pull relationship is often shaped by trauma and abuse and it’s necessary to find someone to help us process this attachment style.

- Impact on Relationships – Attachment styles shape communication, conflict resolution, and emotional availability. Securely attached individuals enjoy more stable relationships, while insecure styles face more challenges.

- Changing Attachment Styles – Attachment styles can evolve with effort and new experiences. Learn how to increase self-awareness, develop trust, communicate effectively, set boundaries, and address past traumas.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.

5. Unpacking the Secure + Anxious Attachment Style

Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Demystifying Attachment Theory: I unpack the origins of attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, and its profound impact on how we connect with others. Learn why those early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.

- Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.

- Understanding Secure Attachment: Find out what it means to have a secure attachment style and how it forms the foundation for healthy, fulfilling relationships. Spoiler alert: It's all about trust, intimacy, and a positive sense of self and others.

- Navigating Anxious Attachment: Explore the anxious attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. From craving closeness to fearing abandonment, we'll uncover the ins and outs of this attachment style.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.