the own it podcast

33. Authentic Self vs. False Self: The Key to Living an Abundant Life

In this episode, I explore what it means to connect with your authentic self—the true essence of who you are, beyond labels, roles, and external expectations. I dive into the psychological concept of the false self, a version of yourself you create to seek love, approval, or attachment from others, often at the expense of your true identity.

Drawing from Gabor Maté’s work on attachment and trauma, I discuss how the need for connection can sometimes make us abandon our real selves in favor of performing a version that fits in or is more accepted by others. I also touch on tools like the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, and DISC that help us understand ourselves better, but we emphasize that being true to yourself is ultimately about inner honesty.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• The authentic self is who you are at your core, free from external influences.
• The false self is a mask we wear to gain attachment or approval.
• Childhood experiences and insecure attachment can lead us to reject our true identity.
• Being authentic involves aligning with your core values, boundaries, and needs.
• Questions for self-reflection to help uncover your authentic self.

Activation Questions:

• Where do I feel most like myself?
• Who can I be around where I feel permission to be my full self?
• When do I abandon my authentic self for others?
• What parts of myself have I rejected because they felt "too much" or "not enough"?

Choosing authenticity every time can lead to greater peace, self-acceptance, and personal growth. It’s a journey of peeling back the layers to reveal the true you.

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

32. Getting Vision for the New Year

I love the New Year! It's a time for fresh starts, but let's be real, most resolutions fizzle out by February. Why? Often, we lack clear direction. We focus on the 'what' (lose weight, get organized) without the 'why'." In this episode, I offer a fresh perspective on getting vision for your new year that goes beyond goals and intentions.

 

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

• Why most New Year's resolutions fail.
• The importance of a God-given vision for your life.
• Identifying and overcoming barriers to seeing God's vision.
• Practical steps for running your race with purpose and perseverance.
• The importance of staying focused on Jesus throughout your journey.
• Encouragement to trust God's plan for your life.

I hope you find this episode encouraging and that you feel inspired to take on your new year with purpose and vision. See you in 2025!

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

31. Life Coach, Therapist, or Psychologist? How to Choose the Right Support

In this episode, I’m diving into a content-heavy breakdown of the different types of professional help available: life coaching, therapy, psychology, and psychiatry. While I’m not an expert or medical professional, I want to equip you with the information to confidently determine which type of support might be best for you. Here’s what I cover:

 

• Life Coach: A life coach helps with personal growth, goal-setting, and moving forward when you feel stuck. They’re not medical professionals and typically don’t address deep emotional wounds but focus on helping you create momentum in your life.

 

• Therapist/Counselor: Therapists work with emotional pain, relationship issues, and past trauma. They’re trained to help you process the past and develop tools to manage present challenges.

 

• Psychologist: A psychologist specializes in diagnosing and treating mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or behavioral issues. They provide evidence-based treatments but don’t prescribe medication.

 

• Psychiatrist: Psychiatrists are medical doctors who diagnose and treat more severe mental health conditions. They can prescribe medication and provide medical management for disorders like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

 

This episode is packed with information to help you navigate your options, so grab a notebook and get ready to discern what kind of help aligns with your needs and goals!

29. Rhythms for a Sustainable Life

In this episode, I’m breaking down the daily, weekly, and yearly rhythms I use to simplify life, reduce stress, and create space for the things that matter most. You’ll want to listen to the episodes to get some good ideas for how to do it yourself, but here’s how I structure my life to stay grounded, intentional, and aligned with my priorities:

 

Daily:

• Wake at 5:50 for quiet time, workouts, therapy work, or learning.
• Use peak energy for chores before kids wake up.
• Daily outings: park, museum, errands, or playdates.
• Prep snack boxes and dinner during naptime.
• Set out clothes the night before.
• Morning coffee, afternoon matcha/MudWtr.
  
  

Weekly:

• Sunday: meal planning, fridge clean-out, task lists.
• Monday: grocery shopping and laundry reset.
• Fixed playdates: Tuesday PM, Wednesday AM.
• Wednesday night: house chores or self-care.
• Thursday: errands, appointments, and date night 
• Saturday: family sabbath—no work.
• Sunday: church to prioritize family worship culture.
  
  

Quarterly & Yearly:

• Quarterly resets to realign.
• Yearly family trip and proactive planning with Donta to set priorities.

 

These rhythms aren’t perfect, neither am I, but they allow me to show up in a way that aligns with my values, supports my family, and keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. Let’s dive into how you can create rhythms that work for your life!

28. Spiritual Seasons + How to Show Up In Them

Life moves in seasons, and each season has a purpose. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that there’s a time for everything under heaven. I this episode, my goal is to help you navigate spiritual seasons with wisdom and intention, so you can embrace the growth, rest, or pruning that comes with each one.

Core Truths for Every Season:

1. God is fully aware of my season, and I’m never alone—even in the darkest moments.
2. God is all-powerful and will meet every need in every season.
3. God is working everything out for my good. Every experience has purpose.

Winter: Waiting Well

• A quiet, challenging season of rest, reflection, and intimacy with God.
• Dig deep into the well of your history with God for sustenance.
• Use this time to gain clarity and direction for what’s next.
• Deal with past weeds: break up with lies and ask God what He wants you to plant next season.
• Journal your “manna moments”—the small provisions sustaining you.
• Maturity grows as we wait on God and trust His timing.

Key Takeaway: Winter may feel dormant, but it’s preparing you for a new season of growth.

Spring: Guarding Growth

• A season of new beginnings, rebirth, and planting.
• Be intentional with the seeds you’re planting—remove distractions and pull out lingering weeds.
• Protect the fragile growth with wisdom and discernment (Proverbs 2:11).
• Say no to fear and yes to love.
• Begin carrying out the instructions you received in winter, even if it feels like hard work.

Key Takeaway: Spring is about preparing the soil and nurturing small beginnings for long-term growth.

Summer: Nurturing Growth

• A flourishing season of fulfillment and visible growth.
• Stay focused amidst distractions and keep watering your relationship with God through prayer.
• Weed consistently: differentiate between “good ideas” and “God ideas.”
• Be grateful for the visible evidence of God’s faithfulness while staying diligent in your spiritual disciplines.

Key Takeaway: Growth thrives with consistent care and intentionality, even in seasons of abundance.

Fall: Time for Harvest

• A season of fulfillment, promise, and thanksgiving.
• Reap the results of seeds planted in past seasons.
• Reflect on God’s faithfulness and journal the testimonies.
• Stockpile spiritual lessons and promises to sustain you in the next winter.
• Celebrate the harvest and share the fruit with others.

Key Takeaway: Fall is about gratitude, reflection, and savoring the fulfillment of God’s promises.

Every season serves a purpose. Whether you’re in the quiet of winter, the newness of spring, the flourishing of summer, or the harvest of fall, God is with you, guiding you, and growing you. Trust Him in every season and embrace what He’s teaching you.

27. Overcoming Barriers to Self-Love Pt. II

In this episode, I’m breaking down the blocks that keep us from fully loving ourselves and sharing practical tips to move from intention to action. We’ll explore fear, shame, trauma, and how to replace those walls with God’s truth. Plus, you’ll learn how your words and thoughts shape your reality and how to align with the person God made you to be.

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EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

Barriers to Self-Love:

1. Fear of Rejection or Failure

• Past experiences shape our view of ourselves. God’s voice needs to reshape our identity.
• Fear, guilt, shame, and pride block the truth from getting in.

2. Unprocessed Pain or Trauma

• James 5:16: Confessing sins and bringing pain into the light leads to healing.

3. Comparison Trap

• Comparison creates victims and villains, distorting our self-worth.

4. Negative Self-Talk

• Words shape reality. Speak life over yourself!
• Masaru Emoto’s experiments: Positive words create beauty; negative ones create chaos.

5. Codependency

• Relying on others for validation prevents true self-love.

6. Neglecting Your Body

• 1 Corinthians 6:19: Treat your body as a temple. Self-care reflects self-love.

 

Practical Tips for Loving Yourself

1. Be humble and recognize where you’ve blocked love.
2. Seek counseling to heal wounds from the past.
3. Silence the inner critic (2 Corinthians 10:5).
4. Discover who you are outside of performance or appearances.
5. Surround yourself with healthy, affirming relationships.
6. Speak truth into existence: Call yourself what you aspire to believe.
7. Declare Scripture and affirmations daily (Psalm 139:13-17).

This episode is about breaking down walls, taking captive negative thoughts, and stepping into the fullness of who God created you to be. You got this beauty!

26. How Do I Love Myself? Pt. I

This episode came from a DM asking for a podcast on self-love. I’m diving into self-love from a biblical and psychological perspective, not the usual “woo woo self-help” angle. This will be a two-part series so stay tuned for the next one and I hope you feel inspired and encouraged!

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Love as the Basis: 1 John 4:19 reminds us that we can love because He first loved us. God’s love is the foundation.
2. Understanding “Self”: Our identity is rooted in being created in His image (Genesis 1:27). Knowing this helps us understand who we are and builds a healthy self-concept.
3. Self-Concept & Belief: We see ourselves through the “glasses” of our life experiences, shaping beliefs like “I am worthy” or “I’m not enough.” Childhood experiences often influence these beliefs.
4. Self-Love Definition: Self-love means accepting and valuing ourselves. It’s not always easy if we don’t feel connected to who we truly are.
5. Impact of Attachment: Early relationships shape our self-worth. For example, anxious or avoidant attachment styles affect how we view ourselves and our ability to feel loveable.
6. Inner Critic: Many of us develop a critical voice that undermines our worth. Recognizing this and countering it with God’s truth is essential for true self-love.

Self-love isn’t just about feeling good but about living in alignment with how God created us and stepping into our true identity.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

25. Hard Seasons + How to Show Up In Them

In this episode, I share how to move through a hard season well. Hard seasons are inevitable – the Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. This means that we’re going to face tough seasons and walk through hard situations, but it’s possible not to be depressed and powerless in it all. I want to give you practical and actionable tools and steps to engage in a hard season while still showing up in it. 

 

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Discern Your Season: Recognize the season you’re in—like the sons of Issachar, who understood their times (1 Chronicles 12:32).
2. Create a Vision: With no vision, we lose direction. Set goals—emotionally, physically, spiritually—like building trust or improving health.
3. Identify Root Causes: Is your struggle circumstantial or tied to past actions? Accept the consequences but also turn away from cycles of sin and create healthy habits in your life.
4. Reject Victimhood: Name and feel your emotions, but don’t let them control you. Focus on what you can change, and release what you can’t.
5. Practice Self-Control: Avoid unhealthy escapes. We’re called to be Spirit-led, not driven by fleeting desires.
6. Grow Through Challenges: Let trials mature you. James 1:2-4 reminds us that enduring hardships produces resilience and inner peace.
7. Build Healthy Routines: Establish routines that ground you, like exercise, checklists, and self-care—these basics can prevent burnout.
8. Manage Threat Responses: Recognize your stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, shutdown). Know your triggers and plan for them.
9. Set Small Goals: Build momentum with attainable steps, creating small wins that foster confidence.
10. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge every moment you show up, no matter how small—it all adds up.
11. Find Purpose in Every Day: Stay grounded in the present. Use your senses, appreciate nature, and lean into each moment.
12. Lean on Your Community: Don’t be afraid to rely on others for perspective and support.
13. Stay Present, Don’t Check Out: There’s a difference between disconnecting and actively showing up. Practice presence.
14. Run Back to Hope: Hold onto hope—the joyful expectation of good.
    
    

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. 

24. Jenn Johnson - Living With Intention

In this episode, I share a practical, powerful, and spirit-filled Q&A session from Thrive with my friend and special guest, Jenn Johnson. Jenn is a wife, mom of five, worship leader, artist, and CEO of a thriving music label. Known for her passion for beauty, community, and holistic nurturing, Jenn is intentional in every part of her life, from her high-capacity leadership to building a home that welcomes people from around the world.

 

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

- Living with Intention: Jenn shares how living on purpose has shaped her life, ministry, and vision, even in wilderness seasons.

- Staying Grounded: Practical daily habits and routines Jenn relies on to stay purposeful while juggling many roles.

- Navigating Busy Seasons: Tips on prioritizing what matters most without losing focus or burning out.

- Self-Care and Giving Back: Insights into meeting personal needs to remain strong for family and community.

- Handling Setbacks: How Jenn navigates disappointment and challenging seasons without getting stuck.

- Inviting God into Our Dreams: How to let faith guide us in pursuing God-given passions.

- Facing Life Transitions: How to keep loving God and others even when life gets turned upside down.

- Emotional Connection in Marriage: Tips for staying emotionally engaged in marriage amidst life's demands.

- How We Thrive: Jenn’s lasting words of wisdom on living a purposeful life.

Join us for this inspiring and practical episode, as Jenn gives us a glimpse into her life and the intentional practices that keep her thriving.

 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

23. The Victim Mentality + How to Kill It

In this episode, I dive deep into the difference between a victim mentality and a powerful mindset. I'll be sharing personal stories from my own where I felt powerless and was waiting for someone to rescue me and how I shifted to taking ownership of my life. We’ll explore the root causes of a victim mentality, how it distorts reality, and the long-term negative impact it can have. I'll also give practical steps on how you can take your power back, become solution-oriented, and shift your mindset to live with intention and responsibility.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- Understanding Victim Mentality: A way of thinking where we feel powerless and blame others. It leads to stagnation, self-sabotage, and frustration.

- Signs of Victim Mentality: Negative self-talk, avoidance of responsibility, and feeling like life happens TO you.

- Root Causes: Past trauma, learned helplessness, and unmet emotional needs can drive this mindset.

- Shifting to a Powerful Mindset: Take back control by embracing personal responsibility, making intentional choices, and taking back your power from people and circumstances.

- Practical Steps: Recognize triggers, take responsibility, set boundaries, and practice gratitude to move from victimhood to empowerment.

- Biblical Perspective: Scriptures like 2 Timothy 1:7 and Romans 8:37 remind us that we are called to live in power, love, and self-control, not fear.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.